Was quite possibly the worst day of my life, or so it seemed like. John and I fought a lot for a couple of months prior to 01.03.2010. Every couple fights, that’s just normal… but the way we fought, was not normal. It was like we hated each other. I personally felt like I didn’t even give a crap.
I realized how much I truly loved him when Jan. 3rd came along… we broke up. I have never felt that heart broken in my entire life, it was like someone I loved had died. I went home that night crying… I remember my mom telling me, “Tara, if it is meant to be, you two will be together. If not, take this time to focus on yourself… make yourself happy.”
I had an anxiety attack everyday after that… as much as I wanted to take my mom’s advice, it was next to impossible. John called me everyday just to check on me to make sure I am ok, which was very sweet of him, but only made it that much harder. I knew he still loved me considering he still wanted to see me and hang out with me all the time… and that’s when I also remembered that there were a few people that really wanted him to just be single. I will never point fingers at anyone, but do you know how hard it is to know the person you love is being negatively influenced by someone else and they don’t even realize it. I tried to tell him over and over and he just denied it. It got to the point where he cut off all ties with me, that was the lowest I think I had ever felt. This time, however, I was more angry than sad. I was so angry, I spent the first few days just talking so much smack about him. (lol) … well two and a half weeks went by (which I know is not very long… but for a girl… that’s an eternity!) I received a horoscope, this one in particular really caught my eye. It mentioned that I had not spoken to someone I love in quite some time, but today is the day that will change… we will rekindle the relationship… we will have our ups and downs but everything will be ok. I deleted it. Guess what? He called me that night. Wanted to catch up and hang out for a bit. It was nice, but I kept my guard up. We saw each other everyday after that, I won’t get into details on that one, but those two and a half weeks made him realize what he was missing. Me. 🙂 …and that I was right, he was being influenced by others. A couple of months later, he took me out on a date and surprised me with two pairs of diamond earrings and asked me to be his girlfriend again. That was the happiest day of my life. 🙂
Basically, what I am trying to say here… and what I learned from that experience… that sometimes a big change is needed. To make you realize what is important. You never realize what you have until it is gone. If that ever happens to you, spend that time to focus on yourself, make that other person realize that you don’t NEED them. You will be fine on your own… and always remember, if it is meant to be, it’ll work out. 🙂
Quick change of subject… I saw this quote in an email today and thought I’d share it:
“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Put Jesus first in your life. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.”