By Tara

Archive for June, 2012

Quick to get married…

Sorry it has been so long since I have made a new post… I bought a new book on Friday, I am sure you have heard of it… Fifty Shades of Grey. This book has me possessed… I can not go five minutes without reading it, every once in a while at work I sneak a few pages in. I purposely did not go out on Friday and Saturday night, just so I can read it. (Well, John and I went to a comedy show on Saturday) but after that, I stayed home and read my book. 🙂 I can’t stop thinking about it, I even have dreams about it… I am that obsessed… and I can’t wait to buy the other two. So ladies, I recommend reading this book!

Anyways, I was having a discussion with John the other day and there is something I have to say… because it’s really bugging me. Why do couples, especially at such a young age, feel the need to get married so early? Wait, actually, I can name a few reasons… but sadly they are pathetic reasons. ONE… as I mentioned before, some get confused between lust and love, and when they’re in “lust” they automatically think, “yea, this is the one.” Let’s get married!!! …and as I mentioned, get to know each other a little bit. (lol) TWO… the girl gets pregnant so they think they HAVE to get married now. Not true. There is no written law stating if you have a baby, you have to get married to the baby mama/daddy. Besides, having a baby and getting married will not solve any problems. THREE… I see a lot of couples break up, get back together, break up, get back together, break up, get back together (again, as mentioned before) then they decide to get married. What, do you think that getting married will stop you two from fighting and splitting apart again? No. The only difference is, it will take a lot longer, and it’s not free. Not even close. FOUR… Mostly girls think this. They think that marriage will change a person… in a better way. NO, it will not. If anything it will backfire on you. A piece of paper, proving that it is legal, does not change someone’s personality. If they treat you like crap before the wedding, they will after the wedding. Please get that through your head. And FIVE… I have seen this many times, sadly… they get married for attention. I mean, I get it, wearing a big beautiful dress, walking down a beautiful aisle surrounded by all of your family and friends watching you, as you approach your fiance’ with three or four of your best friends standing at the front, with ALL of the attention on you. The entire night is yours… yes… it sounds wonderful. Something every girl dreams of… but guess what? After the big, beautiful, all-of-the-attention-on-you wedding… is a marriage, and that’s not easy… it’s a job. The rest of your life. If you want to spend all of that money on a big beautiful wedding, wouldn’t you rather do it when you are actually ready to settle down, and actually be happy the rest of your life? Amiright?

Think about it.

The Move

I don’t show it too well when I am stressed. To be honest, I hate sympathy. Which is why I don’t really talk about my problems too often… but I will tell you this. The move is more stressful on me than I have expressed. I am excited to go but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to go. It seems to be putting a lot of strain on my relationship as well… I want it to work but sometimes it gets so tough, that I just want to shut everyone out… including him… and give up…or just be left alone.

Confession: …people always ask me why I don’t talk much over the phone or in text… I just don’t like it. I have my phone to keep me entertained sometimes, but mostly I have it to talk to my parents or in case of emergency. I would much rather speak to someone in person, I am so much better at that. Just an FYI. 😉

That is all.

The “Spark”

The beginning of every relationship is always the best part. It is so exciting and fun… and probably one of the best feelings you will ever have. Sometimes people get confused between lust and love. In all honesty, sometimes lust is a better feeling. Except, of course, that moment when you realize you are truly in love. Personally, it took me about a year into our relationship before I actually realized it. It was Thanksgiving 2006, John went out of town with his uncle, as they did every year on Thanksgiving, and I wasn’t sure why at the time but I couldn’t eat, sleep, or had any sort of energy. I had no motivation to do anything. It was the strangest thing, I felt such a deep depression. I honestly had no idea what was wrong with me. Then I received a random phone call from John telling me that they came home early… and it was right then that everything changed, I felt SO much better. I immediately felt my spirit lift and I was able to laugh… I was even able to eat… a LOT! I left that afternoon to meet with him and on the way I had many thoughts going through my head. ‘Why all of a sudden was everything ok again?’ …and that’s when it hit me… I’m in love with him! The feeling I had while he was away was my other half being taken away from me. 🙂

Anyways… this is actually not what this post is about. I wanted to write about something that I notice people do… now this is something that I notice GIRLS do more than guys. So girls, please read this because it’s important. That fantastic, awesome, and GREAT feeling doesn’t last. It is mostly the beginning. The rest is just a test. If you truly love that person and actually value your relationship, you will stick around. I have seen way too many times, one person (typically the girl) will break up with the other after a few months or they sabotage the relationship and try to always blame the other person. Seriously? Please stop. There are always, and I repeat ALWAYS ways to stay happy in a relationship… and even bring that spark back. 😉 My key is to remember that your significant other is not only your lover, but your best friend. Go for a casual walk and just talk… go on a date (dinner and a movie, maybe?) Have fun… go dancing, play games, have a pillow fight… it’s ok to be immature sometimes. 😉

I am only 24 years old and I’ve been in a relationship since I was 17… that’s tough. So I admit that there are times that I still wonder, “what if.” What if I was with him, or him, or HIM? What would it be like if I were with this guy or THAT guy? Where would I be or who would I be with if John and I wouldn’t have gotten back together. I have crazy thoughts all the time… but I try not to let them get to me, because deep down inside I know what I truly want and know that it’s not worth changing that.

Fighting

I just have to say this… I never understand those people that break up, get back together, break up, get back together and so on and so on. I do understand if you break up with someone and you realize you still love them and you end up back together (as I talked about in my last post) however, referring to facebook here… why do couples always have to change their “relationship status” every time there is an argument. I do notice that it’s the guys that do it most the time too. I am not saying it is ONLY guys, but from what I have seen… it has been mostly guys. o_O Every couple argues, that’s just a part of a relationship… you don’t have to “break” up every time there is one. Everyone would be single if that was the case.

Now, I am not trying to sound rude at all… promise! I am only saying if you are in a relationship with someone that leaves you every time there is an argument, then comes back, then leaves again, then comes back… why bother with them anymore? Girls, please, don’t do that to yourself. You deserve so much better, to be with someone that can be an adult and understands that an argument is an argument… not necessary to throw away a perfectly good relationship. Again, if they do, find a real man.

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

“Don’t cry over someone who wouldn’t cry over you.” – Lauren Conrad

June!

Happy June!

Even though my day started out like crap… I must admit, this will be a good month. A lot is going on… on top of the 4 contests I am in, I have two baby showers to attend, John’s little brother’s birthday is this month, my family is getting together to say goodbye to me, my going away party is on the 16th AND the last day of our work place is on the 29th. After that, John and I will be moving to Kentucky. I have always wanted to try and live in another state for a while so I am thankful I now have the opportunity to. I am also thankful after everything John and I have been through in our relationship, we can finally settle down and move away together… as much as I hate him sometimes. I had to say this, since I know he’s reading this. 😛

Who cares if anyone wants to criticize what you do… let them… it’s all jealousy. Only do what makes you happy. 🙂